I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Never joke about your clitoris.
Randomize
