can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
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