It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
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