I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
