I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
Randomize
