i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
even my farts smell like vagina
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
Randomize
