I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
he shaved USA in his pubs
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
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