You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
Randomize
