Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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