Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
Randomize
