He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
