i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
Randomize
