she woke up with a sticky ear
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
Randomize
