It's like a parade of train wrecks.
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
Randomize
