Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
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