the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
Little spoons don't ask big questions
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
Just got your voicemail. The 3am call wasn't a drunk dial, it was an I left my phone in my pocket then has wild animalistic sex dial...
I hate you.
You LOVE me.
Randomize
