i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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