I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
He? As in you personified your dick?
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
Randomize