YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize
