Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
Randomize
