Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
My orgasm happened in two different decades
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