Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
Randomize
