i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
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