im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
Randomize
