I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
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