Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
Randomize
