im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
I can feel your judgement through the phone
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
Randomize
