Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
...so i touched it.
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
Randomize
