you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
