i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
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