dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Randomize
