forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
Last night: Repeatedly yelled about how the fishbowl tasted like blue, stole a stranger's hat, hugged the DJ for playing my request, made out with my roommate, and abandoned the guy I dragged to the club in the first place
This morning: Hat doesn't fit, hangover headache is blue, and I can't move without getting lightheaded
Listen when they tell you not to drink after giving blood
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
Randomize