I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
Randomize
