Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
Randomize