guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
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