i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
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