Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
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