Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
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