Joe is yelling at the trees again.
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
The best revenge is premature balding
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Randomize