Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
Randomize
