her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
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