I have demons in me.
I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
That's how pantless uber rides happen
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Randomize
