I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
Randomize
