He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
Randomize
