oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
These tits shall not be calmed
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
