Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Randomize
