my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
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