Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
Why is your signature on my underwear?
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
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