i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
Randomize
