Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Randomize