As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize