oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
Thanks for jumping on that grenade for me last night. You're the best wingman ever
She ate 7 of the 8 slices of pizza. I deserve a purple heart and sex w your sister
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
We named our party play list daddy issues
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
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