She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
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