Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
Randomize
