I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
