the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
Brb crying the tears of my youth
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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