The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
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