is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
